HCHY List: Asset building and athletics

Mon Sep 15 09:17:34 CDT 2008

Hi Colleen,
=A0
It is good to hear from you again!=A0 I feel your pain having an 11 year ol=
d athlete that has a "yeller" for a football coach this year.=A0 He is an e=
xcellent player and has experienced a lot of pressure from coaches ... to t=
he point where I was being pressured to allow him to play injured b/c they =
"needed him."=A0 I had to say "hey guys, he's 10 and I would like him to no=
t get injured and end his career just yet!"=A0 lol=A0=A0 We recently had to=
 talk to his current coach about not letting him off of the field for one b=
reak during an entire game -- even though he was asking for water and has a=
sthma that kicks up when he is dehydrated and overheated!=A0 I've been told=
 "good for you" and "you're just being a mom - this is FOOTBALL!" by other =
parents.=A0 Gets a little confusing ... but I always try to trust my gut, t=
alk to my kid and get his permission ... or at least make him aware of why/=
how we are going=A0to intervene when/if it seems important.=A0 We haven't h=
it
 the "school sports" yet so I am not sure what that will bring ...
=A0
Okay ... so I've heard good things about the Postiive Coaching Alliance and=
 have attached their website.=A0 http://www.positivecoach.org/.=A0 Kindness=
 Counts used to have a whole section on Coaching that included pledges that=
 were signed by students, parents and coaches but I can't find it on-line a=
nymore.=A0 Some of my friends heavily involved in baseball passed it on to =
their coaches who adopted it w/ their team.=A0 While most parents and kids =
were happy to sign ... there were some that really raised a stink over it.=
=A0 So, it seems that rocking the proverbial boat goes along w/ trying to m=
ake these kinds of changes.=A0 The folks that most need it are the ones mos=
t against it.
=A0
Good luck and let us know how it goes.=A0 =

=A0
=A0
Lisa DeCarolis, LSW
North Hills Youth Ministry Counseling Center

--- On Sat, 9/13/08, Colleen Mahoney <mahoneyc at cox.net> wrote:

From: Colleen Mahoney <mahoneyc at cox.net>
Subject: HCHY List: Asset building and athletics
To: lisadec2000 at yahoo.com
Cc: "Healthy Communities Healthy Youth" <hchylist at lists.search-institute.or=
g>
Date: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 10:42 PM

#yiv2045970792 v\:* {}

#yiv2045970792 v\:* {
}

Hi Everyone!
=A0
I haven't written anything for a long time.=A0 Life happens.=A0 :)=A0 Often=
 what brings me back to this listserv is both professional and personal...i=
t usually has to do with frustrations I face...and things I do not think we=
 are doing a very good job at...and that I want to impact.=A0 =

=A0
I have a 16 year old son...he is an AP/honors student, a junior in High Sch=
ool.=A0 He is also a very gifted 3-sport athlete.=A0 I often say I could no=
t have ordered a better son...he is amazing!=A0 He is the way he is because=
 of multiple variables--his own nature and efforts, his parents, and the wo=
nderful people surrounding him -- other family, teachers, friends, coaches,=
 and on and on.=A0 He is one of those=A0young people=A0that seems to be res=
ilient-gifted (new word).=A0 =

=A0
My biggest frustrations throughout the years as his Mother and as a profess=
ional working with schools/communities is athletics.=A0 In my eyes, the ath=
letic programs of schools (and communities) reflect the=A0"true" nature of =
the school (community).=A0 There are many schools/communities that view the=
mselves as "asset rich", yet their athletic programs provide a much differe=
nt picture.=A0 And often they do not want "to go there."
=A0
There are the issues related to coaches: developing athletes and individual=
s, dealing with the athletes that represent top of the line student athlete=
s (often these are the ones being brought down these days)=A0and those that=
 are at risk,=A0getting beyond the politics (daddies and biases, including =
-- unfortunately --=A0racism) and communication=A0(most really lack here ev=
en those that are "teachers/educators.").=A0=A0=A0I can't help but imagine =
how many opportunities and dreams have (unfairly) been shattered, etc. Ther=
e is the=A0parent end...parents often overstep their boundaries today.=A0 B=
ecause of that though when we need parents to step up they often don't...ou=
t of fear of being viewed as "problems" and out of concerns for how their c=
hild/teen will be treated.=A0 And, administrators...most prefer to not have=
 to deal with it.=A0 =

=A0
I know Search Institute (and others) have attempted to address this issue t=
hrough publications and so on, but I haven't found a lot of substance in tr=
uly dealing with the issues.=A0 I recently read an article about what had b=
een done at Vanderbilt under President Gordon Gee to change the culture of =
athletics.=A0 Kudos!=A0 Maybe there are implications here for high schools =
(even communities)!?!?
=A0
Colleen Mahoney, Ph.D.
Health Education/Positive Youth Development Specialist
Gainesville FL

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