HCHY List: Asset building and athletics

[JEFF WELLS]

I have taught math and coached various sports in public education for over =
thirty years. Another unique perspective I have is 25 years of officiating =
high school football "under the Friday Night Lights."

I have seen some of the negatives mentioned in high school athletics from c=
ompetitive coaches, over involved dads and moms and other relatives, and em=
otionally biased community people. Let's not forget these "anti-asset build=
ing" behaviors are also evident in speech & drama decisions, band competiti=
ons, academic teams, cheerleading, ....One of my concerns is the beating at=
hletics take whenever these poor behaviors are exhibited. It is not unique =
to athletics.

Sports and other extracurricular activities provide countless examples of p=
ositive, asset building, experiences that give kids fellowship, healthy act=
ivities, humble victories, disappointing losses that teach them to be resil=
ient when things don't go their way. There is nothing better than a gloriou=
s autumn evening for me when the band finishes the National Anthem, and we =
kickoff to begin yet another high school football game. =


In officiating, I have always been the referee closest to the sideline comm=
unicating with coaches and players. I hear alot!  The coaches that treat th=
eir kids and officials with respect, dignity, and humor were obvious and th=
eir success followed. The screamers and whiners have lost respect from thei=
r players, fans, and officials. The behavior of the coach is imitated by th=
e players and fans.  I have also observed that the quality programs have a =
strong athletic director that will not tolerate negative coaching. You ment=
ioned "administrators that prefer not to deal with it" That is unfortunate. =


I have two thoughts in dealing with programs that seem to be too negative. =
One, empower the kids to get involved. It always seems like this type of co=
ncern comes from a parent. Let's hear the kids' voices. Second, check out t=
he "Children's First" website from St.Louis Park, Minnesota school district=
. They have a specific training program offered to coaches to be asset buil=
ders. I heard their presentation by high school students, coaches, and admi=
nistrators a few years ago at the National Asset Building conference in St.=
 Paul.



> Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:09:37 -0400
> Subject: Re: HCHY List: Asset building and athletics
> From: jslavwccf at kconline.com
> CC: hchylist at lists.search-institute.org
> To: jeffreykwells at msn.com
> =

> Hello All~  I am a high school coach in Indiana.  Have coached football
> for over 35 years on all levels.  Coaching youth level football in a park
> program has its rewards and joys.  Coaching high school players likewise
> has its positives and negatives.  One of the problems, if you want to call
> it that, is coaches on the high school level, and even middle school in
> our area, are paid to coach AND there are expectations to win!  Park
> department or youth football does not have that expectation at least in
> our community.  But once someone has their livelihood resting on the
> shoulders of a 16-18 year old, the pressure mounts.  Granted, no coach
> should use inappropriate language to demean or motivate a player, should
> never put an injured player into competition, should never deny water or a
> play or two out, etc.  But as you go up the grade level ladder, the games
> (and not just football) get faster, more competitive, and the demands
> become more intense.  Aspects of high school competition that I hold
> dearly are:  #1...more teenage boys are arrested everyday between 3 and
> 6:30 PM than at any other time.  As a parent I would want my son under the
> direction of a coach during those hours if my son has an interest to
> particpate. #2:  The friendships developed will stay with them the rest of
> their life.  Ever notice at high school reunions, former teammates gather
> together.  #3:  There are so many life lessons to be learned in sports,
> but the most important one to me is perseverance.  You miss a field goal
> attempt, yet another attempt will come along.  You throw an interception. =

> No problem.  Payton Manning threw five in one game.  Stay in there and
> keep plugging away.  Failures are not those who make the mistakes, but
> those who make the mistake and never try again.  This is from a man who
> was fired as a coach at one school and then went to another to continue
> coaching a sport I enjoy.  And a man who went through a divorce, yet made
> the decision to marry again and after almost 20 years in my second
> marriage could not be happier.  Finally, and this will not sit well with
> some.  One of the joys of football is the all-male environment that
> surrounds those young men.  As long as the lessons, taught by concerned
> and caring adult men are appropriate lessons, I cannot think of a better
> place for a young man to be afterschool if he enjoys football.  Just my
> two-cents worth...
> =

> John
> =

> =

> > Hi Colleen,
> >  =

> > It is good to hear from you again!  I feel your pain having an 11 year =
old
> > athlete that has a "yeller" for a football coach this year.  He is an
> > excellent player and has experienced a lot of pressure from coaches ...=
 to
> > the point where I was being pressured to allow him to play injured b/c
> > they "needed him."  I had to say "hey guys, he's 10 and I would like him
> > to not get injured and end his career just yet!"  lol   We recently had=
 to
> > talk to his current coach about not letting him off of the field for one
> > break during an entire game -- even though he was asking for water and =
has
> > asthma that kicks up when he is dehydrated and overheated!  I've been t=
old
> > "good for you" and "you're just being a mom - this is FOOTBALL!" by oher
> > parents.  Gets a little confusing ... but I always try to trust my gut,
> > talk to my kid and get his permission ... or at least make him aware of
> > why/how we are going to intervene when/if it seems important.  We haven=
't
> > hit
> >  the "school sports" yet so I am not sure what that will bring ...
> >  =

> > Okay ... so I've heard good things about the Postiive Coaching Alliance
> > and have attached their website.  http://www.positivecoach.org/.  Kindn=
ess
> > Counts used to have a whole section on Coaching that included pledges t=
hat
> > were signed by students, parents and coaches but I can't find it on-line
> > anymore.  Some of my friends heavily involved in baseball passed it on =
to
> > their coaches who adopted it w/ their team.  While most parents and kids
> > were happy to sign ... there were some that really raised a stink over
> > it.  So, it seems that rocking the proverbial boat goes along w/ trying=
 to
> > make these kinds of changes.  The folks that most need it are the ones
> > most against it.
> >  =

> > Good luck and let us know how it goes. =

> >  =

> >  =

> > Lisa DeCarolis, LSW
> > North Hills Youth Ministry Counseling Center
> >
> > --- On Sat, 9/13/08, Colleen Mahoney <mahoneyc at cox.net> wrote:
> >
> > From: Colleen Mahoney <mahoneyc at cox.net>
> > Subject: HCHY List: Asset building and athletics
> > To: lisadec2000 at yahoo.com
> > Cc: "Healthy Communities Healthy Youth"
> > <hchylist at lists.search-institute.org>
> > Date: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 10:42 PM
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > #yiv2045970792 v\:* {}
> >
> >
> > #yiv2045970792 v\:* {
> > }
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Hi Everyone!
> >  =

> > I haven't written anything for a long time.  Life happens.  :)  Often w=
hat
> > brings me back to this listserv is both professional and personal...it
> > usually has to do with frustrations I face...and things I do not think =
we
> > are doing a very good job at...and that I want to impact. =

> >  =

> > I have a 16 year old son...he is an AP/honors student, a junior in High
> > School.  He is also a very gifted 3-sport athlete.  I often say I could
> > not have ordered a better son...he is amazing!  He is the way he is
> > because of multiple variables--his own nature and efforts, his parents,
> > and the wonderful people surrounding him -- other family, teachers,
> > friends, coaches, and on and on.  He is one of those young people that
> > seems to be resilient-gifted (new word). =

> >  =

> > My biggest frustrations throughout the years as his Mother and as a
> > professional working with schools/communities is athletics.  In my eyes,
> > the athletic programs of schools (and communities) reflect the "true"
> > nature of the school (community).  There are many schools/communities t=
hat
> > view themselves as "asset rich", yet their athletic programs provide a
> > much different picture.  And often they do not want "to go there."
> >  =

> > There are the issues related to coaches: developing athletes and
> > individuals, dealing with the athletes that represent top of the line
> > student athletes (often these are the ones being brought down these
> > days) and those that are at risk, getting beyond the politics (daddies =
and
> > biases, including -- unfortunately -- racism) and communication (most
> > really lack here even those that are "teachers/educators.").   I can't
> > help but imagine how many opportunities and dreams have (unfairly) been
> > shattered, etc. There is the parent end...parents often overstep their
> > boundaries today.  Because of that though when we need parents to step =
up
> > they often don't...out of fear of being viewed as "problems" and out of
> > concerns for how their child/teen will be treated.  And,
> > administrators...most prefer to not have to deal with it. =

> >  =

> > I know Search Institute (and others) have attempted to address this iss=
ue
> > through publications and so on, but I haven't found a lot of substance =
in
> > truly dealing with the issues.  I recently read an article about what h=
ad
> > been done at Vanderbilt under President Gordon Gee to change the culture
> > of athletics.  Kudos!  Maybe there are implications here for high schoo=
ls
> > (even communities)!?!?
> >  =

> > Colleen Mahoney, Ph.D.
> > Health Education/Positive Youth Development Specialist
> > Gainesville FL
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> >
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> >
> >
> >
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> =

> =

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